Rested & rekindled (a little sabbatical reflection)
Sabbath is not merely the pause that refreshes. It is the pause that transforms.
- Walter Brueggemann
On sabbatical, we spin a cocoon around ourselves - a protected place for disintegration in order to find re-integration eventually.
- Ruth Haley Barton
The breezes at dawn have secrets to tell you
Don’t go back to sleep.
- Rumi
I am home from three full months of a sabbatical spent breathing deeply, connecting soulfully & exploring freely, and it has been one of the most wonderful (& weird in a good way) times of my life.
As I started my sabbatical journey on a personal retreat to Wesley Gardens near Savannah, this prayer emerged:
Let the real “I” meet the Real You.
I wasn’t even sure exactly what I was asking for at the time, but over the coming weeks, it became clear. After twelve years of starting & leading The Well, I wanted to get more in touch & in tune with what lies beneath the many layers of responsibilities, roles & expectations I carry around. I wanted to reconnect with the Voice that invited me down the path of starting this quirky little faith community in the first place (sorry/not sorry - you know it’s true!). I wanted to remember who I am when I am not trying so hard to hold things together.
The mystical poet Rumi has written what I believe to be true: the breezes at dawn have secrets to tell you. With that in mind, I am paying extra close attention during the dawn of this post-sabbatical season. You may notice me moving a little slower than you’re used to, and it’s not just because I recently turned the big 5-0 (!). It’s because I want to resist rushing back into business as usual. I want to resist taking on too much in favor of staying true to the work I feel most called to do. I want to resist trying to do it all so I can lean more fully into a few things. I also want to listen to what this season has been stirring up in you.
Sabbatical has been imperfect in many ways, and at the same time has been exactly what it needed to be. I lost track of time & also lost track of how many times I said out loud “what in the world?! who gets to do/see something this amazing?!” I let go of social media, of information overload & of being in the know, which proved super disconcerting at times but also helped me see what’s essential. Through nature, naps, lots of travel, art, labyrinth-walking, archery, hiking, reading & gobs of time spent with family and friends, I have recovered a lightness alongside a deeper Knowing. I have wandered far from home, yet feel more at home in myself & more clear about what is mine to do (and what is not).
While I am only beginning to unpack all of the wisdom & awareness that has surfaced, I already know this for sure -
I am SO deeply grateful for each person who made this time of renewal a reality, including the Lilly Endowment Clergy Renewal Programs, my amazing creative director Ally Markotich of Soul Kindling, my incredibly supportive spouse, our Well vision team & everyone who planned & hosted our community gatherings. We really did this together, and I can’t wait to hear about all that you experienced during our time apart.
I am proud of how we prioritize rest in a world that can be so forgetful of its importance. I am thankful for the reminder that we are held together & sustained by Something Much Bigger than you or I. I am also deeply grateful that we exist in this world. It became so clear as I searched for a faith community like The Well during my travels that what we are creating together is in short supply, and it - YOU - are playing a vital part in courageously reimagining what church can be.
I can’t wait to reconnect with you all during our upcoming Well-come back weekend & in the days ahead!
peace + love -
Susan
