An ethic of love

As we continue “weaving our way toward wholeness” together, most Sundays have included a story from one of our community members. Last Sunday’s story-sharer was Laureen Husband, who generously shared her “ethic of love” with us. With her permission, I wanted to share it here for those, like myself, who found it to be an extremely helpful & grounding guide toward loving our neighbors as we love ourselves.

“The ‘ethic of love’ is a moral framework rooted in the belief that love is not merely an emotion, but a deliberate, active commitment to the dignity, wholeness, and flourishing of every person. It transcends individual affection or romantic sentiment, instead positioning love as a radical, collective responsibility to seek justice, foster connection, and dismantle systems that dehumanize. Here’s a deeper exploration of its core principles:

Key Components of the Ethic of Love

1. Seeing the Whole Person

   - Rejecting reductionist labels (e.g., “poor,” “homeless,” “addict”) and recognizing the multifaceted humanity in everyone: their struggles, strengths, histories, and inherent worth.  

   - Example: Instead of judging a woman living in poverty for her circumstances, asking, *“What happened to you?”* to understand her story of resilience, caregiving, or systemic exclusion.  

2. Action Over Sentiment

   - Love as a verb, not a noun. It requires intentional acts of justice, empathy, and solidarity—especially when it’s inconvenient or uncomfortable.  

   - Example: Advocating for policies like affordable childcare or living wages, not just offering charity.  

3. Interconnectedness

   - Recognizing that no one thrives in isolation. An ethic of love acknowledges that harm to one person or community ripples through all of society.  

   - Example: Supporting a single mother’s access to healthcare or education uplifts her children, her community, and future generations.  

4. Embracing Complexity

   - Refusing to simplify human experiences. It means holding space for contradictions—pain and joy, vulnerability and strength, anger and forgiveness—in ourselves and others.  

   - Example: Honoring a survivor of abuse as both wounded and resilient, without reducing her to either label.  

5. Dismantling Systems of Harm

   - Addressing root causes of suffering (racism, sexism, economic exploitation) rather than treating symptoms. Love becomes a tool for systemic change.  

   - Example: Fighting for housing equity so women aren’t forced to choose between rent and groceries.  

6. Sacred Accountability  

   - Holding ourselves and others accountable with compassion, not punishment. It means repairing harm while honoring the humanity of all involved.  

   - Example: Creating restorative justice programs that prioritize healing over retribution.  

Why It Matters

The ethic of love is particularly urgent for marginalized groups, such as women living in poverty, who face systemic erasure. Society often reduces them to their struggles, ignoring their agency, creativity, and contributions. An ethic of love insists:  

   - Their stories are not tragedies to pity, but testimonies of strength to learn from.  

   - Their needs are not burdens, but calls to rebuild a world where everyone belongs.  

In Practice

The ethic of love asks us to:  

   - **Listen deeply** to those society silences.  

   - **Leverage privilege** to amplify marginalized voices.  

   - **Build systems** that reflect care, not control.  

   - **Love fiercely**, even when it demands sacrifice.  

Ultimately, the ethic of love is a call to reimagine our relationships, institutions, and selves. It’s not about perfection, but persistence—a lifelong practice of choosing humanity over indifference, again and again.”